Mixed orientation marriage

A Life of Unlearning more relevant now than ever

By |2019-09-24T15:42:22+10:00September 19th, 2019|Categories: A Life of Unlearning|Tags: , , |

Fifteen years ago, in 2004, 'A Life of Unlearning - coming out of the church, one man's struggle' hit Australian book and department store shelves. I had no idea that: It would become an Australian bestseller and sell out twice There'd be two more revised and updated editions It would change the lives of literally 1,000s [...]

I’m gay in a straight marriage – what about me and my partner

By |2020-10-21T11:02:16+11:00October 25th, 2014|Categories: LGBTI, LGBTI Therapy|Tags: |

Introduction A mixed orientation marriage (MOM) is where one partner is heterosexual and the other is same-sex-oriented (gay or lesbian) or bi-sexual. The situation we find ourselves in is not usually one of intentional deception. (In some cultures, families and geographical areas this may be different however, as it is a matter of survival). For [...]

When a married straight man falls in love with another man

By |2023-11-17T14:44:18+11:00April 30th, 2013|Categories: General, LGBTI, Mixed Orientation Marriage|Tags: , |

When a married 'straight' man falls in love with another man Thanks for your email Anthony and reaching out to me like this. It is wonderful to finally have someone to talk to about these things who understands my situation. In your email you said ‘I guess the question arises Joe - what happens if [...]

What is closet hokey pokey?

By |2019-04-26T11:30:33+10:00April 25th, 2013|Categories: Gay Christian, LGBTI, Mixed Orientation Marriage|Tags: , |

They're out. They're in. They're out. They're in. They're out. They're in.  They are playing closet hokey pokey. Closet hokey pokey’ is a phenomena I have observed working with gay men and lesbians from faith backgrounds for many years now. Closet hokey pokey doesn't occur as frequently amongst those from non-faith backgrounds. If you come [...]

Can a straight person become gay?

By |2022-12-17T16:25:41+11:00December 6th, 2012|Categories: General|Tags: , , , |

Can a straight person become gay? Yes it happened twice: once in Wales and now in France We often hear uneducated and ill-informed religious people sprouting the theory straight people can be turned gay. And that’s why they tell us it’s best to keep homosexuals in the closet, out of our schools and  that diversity/anti-bullying [...]

Ex-gay = contradictions, denial and mental gymnastics

By |2018-03-22T18:57:59+11:00November 3rd, 2012|Categories: Conversion therapy|Tags: , , , , |

When people say they are struggling with unwanted same sex attraction and seek to be ex-gay, their minds play all manner of crazy tricks on them in order to keep the hope alive. Insidious denial, contradictions and mental gymnastics are the only way they can maintain the ex-gay facade. It's a sad and tragic reality [...]

Reaching out to an Australian ‘ex-gay’ leader – Liberty Christian Ministries

By |2019-05-05T23:37:38+10:00May 5th, 2012|Categories: Conversion therapy|Tags: , , , , , , |

After the recent mainstream media reports on ex-gay ministries in Australia and also the impact of The Cure documentary, I felt it was time to reach out once again to a person from ex-gay camp suggesting that we might meet up and engage in dialogue. My email was passed  on to the Director of the ministry. Below is [...]

Gay Religious Suicide – why we will never be able to count the cost

By |2017-04-29T13:27:41+10:00April 10th, 2012|Categories: Church, Gay Christian, LGBTI|Tags: , , , |

Recent research demonstrates something I have been pointing out for some time now. That is, that LGBT people of faith and religion experience the usual issues of resolving their sexuality or gender identity, coming out, finding their place in the community and learning what it means to live authentically in a predominately straight world.  They often however, experience [...]

Why Christian spin on ‘ex-gay’ study divides families and creates harm

By |2021-07-14T12:48:41+10:00October 12th, 2011|Categories: Conversion therapy|Tags: , , , , |

A recent study “A longitudinal study of attempted religiously-mediated sexual orientation change.” published in The Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy has been hailed by conservative US Christians in publications and websites as a breakthrough. A Christian political group in Australia, the Salt Shakers, was quick to follow, announcing ‘Homosexuals Can Change’. But the study is misleading and this [...]

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