Preamble

We often discuss LGBTQ+ intersectionality, but LGBTQ+ people of faith and those from faith backgrounds are frequently overlooked, despite their distinct needs.

Many assume being religious and LGBTQ+ are incompatible. For some LGBTQ+ individuals, however, faith is an integral part of their identity, connected with family and/or culture. Others may have distanced themselves from their faith, yet it continues to influence their lives, both positively and negatively.

Understanding the challenges and needs of LGBTQ+ people of faith, allies and colleagues can create a safe space where these individuals feel affirmed. This support enables them to live authentically and thrive.

What’s faith got to do with it?

Pride in Practice Conference Melbourne

Firstly, don’t assume that just because someone is religious that they are anti-gay. That would be stereotyping – something we have endured and oppose.

LGBTQ people from faith backgrounds are not a homogeneous group and each group has different needs.

  1. Faith is important to them. No conflict. Part of their identity. Enriches their life.
  2. Have left the faith, and they have formed a new belief system. Which might be NO faith.
  3. Have left the faith but either suffer from religious trauma or are in the closet about their faith.
  4. Faith is wrapped in other intersectionalities. E.g. Culture, family. These are often inseparable. Islamic, Jewish. Orthodox, Evangelical, Pentecostal. Traditional such as Roman Catholic and Anglican. Countries where homosexuality is illegal and homophobia rife and often fuelled by religion. Africa, parts of South America, the Middle East, Asia, parts of Eastern Europe (e.g. Russia, Poland, Hungary), some Pacific countries, Caribbean.

LGBTQ people from faith backgrounds are often impacted in these areas and are one of the highest risk groups in our community in a number of areas such as:

  1. Mental health issues: depression, anxiety, stress
  2. Attempts to change over extended period of time
  3. Heterosexually married – trapped or trauma of breaking up
  4. Self-destructive behaviours
  5. Obsessive behaviours and addictions
  6. Struggle to find their place in the LGBTQ community
  7. Relational and sexual difficulties
  8. Experience Intense cognitive dissonance
  9. Ongoing subconscious belief they will go to hell
  10. Long-term impact of internalised homophobia
  11. PTSD – different levels
  12. Fragmentation of self
  13. Poor self-esteem
  14. Sense of purposelessness
  15. Loneliness, lack of belongingness
  16. Closet hokey pokey
  17. Serious thoughts of suicide
  18. Suicide attempts

As an LGBTQ individual, group or ally, what can we do?

  • Provide a personal safe space. Confidentiality. Trust. No judgement. Understand that the sexuality journey and the faith journey are separate. One resolved, but the other not.
  • Don’t pressure to come out. Sekneh Beckett’s concept of inviting people in, instead of coming out, is often useful in these contexts.
  • The Embassy model is a strategy used by some multinational companies in anti-gay countries to support LGBTQ talent without changing laws or social attitudes.

The Diversity Acceptance Continuum

I have used this model repeatedly now for decades. It is a valuable tool when working with individuals or organisations that are on the journey or still have a long way to go. It’s relevant in this context for the individuals we’ve been discussing.

A message from a man in India.

Hello,

This article has summed up all my emotions and feelings of being trapped and all my desires and needs from a homosexual relationship.

I am a married man of age 28. I got married last year due to parental pressure. The society in India pressurises a lot to get married. Same sex relationships are a big NO and never acknowledged.

I got married as after looking for a steady partner for 3 years I could not find anyone. Then I succumbed to pressure and got married with a thought that it will add stability to my life, and I will have a companion at least.

Now I have met a guy with whom I am in love. I feel my emotional desires as a gay man are getting fulfilled with him. I am not in a relationship with him yet as I am married, and he knows about me everything.

I am in a dilemma now. Neither I can leave my wife. And if I stop seeing my gay friend, I will get into depression. I feel sad for me. I feel sad for my wife. I feel sad for my gay friend.

I feel trapped and feel like it’s killing me.