Raising a non-binary child: listening, loving, and learning

I was very moved watching this episode of the Change Podcast with my friend Dr Shane Clifton, his trans daughter Jemma, and Celine Serrano-Diaz about raising her seven-year-old non-binary child, Judah.

There is so much noise these days about transgender, gender diverse and non-binary children. Politicians debate them, commentators argue about them, and religious leaders often have very definite opinions about them. Cruel things are often spoken.

It’s refreshing just to hear from a parent who is actually raising one. As I always say, there is no substitute for lived experience.

What makes this conversation so powerful is its simplicity and honesty.

Judah explains their identity in a way that cuts through all the complicated adult conversations:

“I’m Judah. I’m in the middle.”

Celine’s approach has been to listen, learn, and allow Judah the freedom to be themselves. She doesn’t pretend to have all the answers. She simply wants her child to grow up knowing they are loved, accepted, and safe. And there is no predetermined future.

One line particularly captures the heart of the conversation:

“They’re not better or worse. They’re just different.”

That shouldn’t be such a radical idea.

The podcast also explores school, pronouns, family relationships, and faith, including the challenges that can arise when deeply held religious beliefs collide with the reality of someone you love.

This isn’t a conversation about politics, ideology or theology. It’s about a family.

It’s about parents learning from their child instead of trying to force their child into a predetermined mould.

And it’s a reminder that children should never become battlegrounds in adult culture wars.

As Shane describes it, this conversation is a “masterclass in modern, affirming parenting.”

I’d add one more thing.

Sometimes the most important thing we can say to a child is not, “Let me tell you who you should be.”

It’s simply:

“Tell me who you are. I’m listening.”

Are you?