A reflection on the arrest of former Exodus International leader Alan Chambers, and an examination of his history, the ex-gay movement, and its long shadow.

News of alleged sexual offences involving minors is always confronting and disturbing. When it involves someone you know and consider a friend, it brings an added level of shock and sadness.

According to a post on X (formerly Twitter) the Orange County Sheriff’s Office in Florida said that:

“Alan Chambers has been arrested after he attempted to meet someone he thought was a 14-year-old boy – but it was actually an undercover detective. Chambers now faces charges of Solicitation of a Minor, Transmission of Harmful Material to Minors, and Unlawful Use of a Two-Way Communication Device.”

All third-degree felonies – or in Australian terms, a moderately serious indictable offence.

Some media reports, quoting from the police affidavit, allege that Chambers had also exchanged messages with male sex workers regarding possible sexual activity.

I need to state clearly that I am in no way justifying or excusing the alleged behaviour. Our thoughts must always be first of victims of sexual abuse and predatory behaviour. In this case, it was a detective posing as a 14-year-old.

The first message about the arrest greeted me when I turned on my phone the next morning. “Former leader of ‘ex-gay’ Christian ministry arrested for soliciting sex from a minor,” the headline read, with a picture of Alan Chambers preaching at the Washington National Cathedral in 2016 when he was there to march in the Capital Pride Parade.

Private messages about the scandal have continued ever since through my social media accounts, as many people were aware of my previous connections with Alan Chambers.

The news of the arrest came as a profound shock to many people globally for several reasons.

Understandably, people have responded to this news differently. Some with anger, others with grief, disappointment, or even numbness. Many conversion “therapy” survivors will be deeply re-traumatised. All of those reactions are valid.

At this stage, the allegations remain before the courts, and the legal process is ongoing.

Some history

When I began my LGBTQ advocacy work, Alan Chambers and I could not have been at more opposite ends of the pole. He was the president of the “ex-gay” organisation, Exodus International, which had over 400 affiliated ministries worldwide, including Australia. All these organisations  preached the message: that through prayer and faith in Jesus Christ, people could and should turn from gay to straight. Alan himself, married to Leslie, claimed he had become heterosexual.

Me, on the other hand, an out and proud gay man doing everything possible to challenge the “pray the gay away” myth, support survivors of the damaging “ex-gay” programs and philosophy and leading the charge to close the organisations in Australia.

During the 2000s, under Alan Chambers’ leadership, Exodus International became deeply embedded in the American Religious Right’s campaign against LGBTQ equality and same-sex marriage. Exodus leaders appeared at political rallies, media campaigns, and even visited the White House during the George W. Bush era as part of the broader “family values” movement, while individuals’ “ex-gay” testimonies were weaponised against marriage equality, anti-discrimination protections, and LGBTQ-inclusive education. Their message was always: they don’t need equality or “special rights”; they can change if they want to – we have. Also, the LGBTQ community was framed as having an agenda to destroy the fabric of society and marriage itself. Exodus was not simply an opponent in the culture wars; they were the enemy.

A Conversation Begins

Alan Chambers and I first began communicating in 2010 after Exodus International withdrew its support for the controversial “Day of Truth” campaign, following growing concern over LGBTQ youth bullying and suicide. I wrote to Alan to thank him for what I saw as a potentially life-saving step, despite our differing views. To my surprise, Alan replied personally and courteously, and over the next three years we developed an ongoing dialogue built on mutual respect, confidentiality, and a shared belief that conversation creates better outcomes than hostility or public attacks. From that point on, whenever Alan or Exodus took positive steps, I made a point of acknowledging and encouraging them.

By 2012, Alan Chambers was taking steps few could have imagined. In January, he attended the Gay Christian Network conference, publicly acknowledging that almost no one (99.9%) he knew had experienced a real change in sexual orientation through “ex-gay” ministries. The contrast was staggering, considering he’d boldly stated in the press in 2006 that there were “hundreds of thousands” of “ex-gays”.

Later in 2012, Exodus also publicly distanced itself from reparative therapy practices a pseudo-science model that had been adopted in the conversion “therapy” movement.

Each move triggered a fierce backlash from both conservative Christians and many in the LGBTQ community, but I could see Alan was on a journey. Change, especially for people from deeply conservative faith backgrounds, never happens overnight. Occasionally, I’d forward Alan one of the many emails I’d received from individuals who’d shared their horrific “ex-gay” journey and ongoing implications with me. “This is what is happening”, I’d remind him.

By early 2013, I sensed something significant was unfolding and shared with Alan a bizarre thought that kept returning to me. I told him I had a strong sense that I should attend the upcoming Exodus conference in June and asked how he felt about that. He replied, “I’d love you to come. I think it will be a year like no other.”

I was one of only two LGBTQ advocates allowed to attend.

An Orchestrated Turn Around

In the afternoon of June 19, 2013, before the first meeting of the conference, Alan released an apology to the LGBTQ community for the harm that Exodus had caused individuals and the community. It was groundbreaking: the news went not only national but global.

Sitting there on the opening night of the conference, I felt privileged that I was there to hear Alan Chambers publicly announce that Exodus International was closing its doors.

The following night, June 20, 2013, on the Oprah Network, Lisa Ling’s prerecorded documentary Special Report: God and Gays aired. Alan Chambers had arranged all this. In the documentary, Lisa gathered former leaders of the movement and survivors to confront Alan and Leslie.

Over the next few days at the conference, I spent time with Alan. Leslie and other Exodus leaders, getting to know them personally and talking with them over meals about what’s next. Alan was planning on setting up another organisation that affirmed gay Christians and drop the “change is possible” previous message. After every major media outlet, I was the last person to interview him in the final hours of the four-day conference.

If you were unfamiliar with the history of Alan Chambers and Exodus International, you can perhaps understand now why the news of his arrest has come as such a profound shock to many of us. For many, Alan Chambers became a respected and even admired figure because he closed Exodus International and publicly acknowledged the harm the organisation had caused.

Chambers: After the Exodus Closure

The organisation Alan and Leslie planned never eventuated. Following the closure of Exodus International, Alan Chambers largely stepped away from the public religious debates. His memoir, My Exodus – from fear to grace, was published in 2015 by Zondervan, which included additional insights from his wife, Leslie. As I wrote in my review, “it’s not a ‘tell-all’ book by any means. There are things missing that I, and I’m sure other readers, would like to have known more about”.

In 2021, along with other former Exodus leaders and conversion “therapy” survivors, in the popular Netflix documentary Pray Away, Alan Chambers reflected, once again, on his role as president of Exodus International and the harm caused by the ex-gay movement.

Alan and I kept in contact since 2013 via Facebook messages and the occasional comments on each other’s posts. And when I was in Orlando, Florida, at the end of 2024, we caught up for cocktails and a meal.

Alan Chambers had become Vice President of a high-end men’s clothing chain. He’d also become active in civic and business leadership in the Orlando area, serving with the Winter Park Chamber of Commerce and was recognised in 2023 by Winter Park Magazine as one of the region’s “Most Influential” figures.

From the outside, everything appeared to be going well. Leslie was teaching, the children were grown, and Alan was doing work he genuinely loved while becoming a respected and well-connected figure in the community. Judging by the constant stream of photos at events, dressed in sharp designer clothes and surrounded by people, he seemed popular, successful, and thriving.

Obviously, all was not well.

A dark closet

Having worked with thousands of people in the faith, sexuality, and gender space for more than two decades, I’ve seen just about everything. One thing, however, has become abundantly clear: when LGBTQ people resolve internal conflict around their sexuality or gender, embrace who they are with a healthy sense of self-worth, and are free to live openly and honestly, they don’t just survive — they thrive. Life becomes healthier psychologically, emotionally, relationally, and often spiritually as well.

Conversely, when people are trapped in shame, suppression, secrecy, fear, and unresolved identity conflict for years, the outcomes can be deeply damaging for them and others. We regularly see reports of outspoken anti-gay religious figures becoming embroiled in sexual scandals, sometimes involving people of the same sex and, disturbingly, at times minors. It is easy to dismiss these situations as simple hypocrisy, but the reality is often far more psychologically and emotionally complex.

Internalised homophobia, self-hatred, and self-loathing can have profound and long-lasting effects. The problem is NOT a person’s sexual orientation, but the shame, fear, and negative beliefs attached to it. The gay self becomes the “dark self”. It’s something to suppress, deny, or hide. Over time, this fragmentation of self can fuel secrecy, emotional distress, compulsive behaviours, and double lives.

In 2006, prominent American evangelical leader and outspoken anti-gay pastor Ted Haggard was forced to resign after allegations emerged that he had engaged in sexual encounters with a male escort and purchased methamphetamine.

In 2010, prominent anti-gay activist and reparative therapy advocate George Rekers was engulfed in scandal after travelling with a young male escort he had hired through a website advertising “gay escorts”, reportedly to carry his luggage.

Back to Alan Chambers

Alan Chambers, coming up to the Exodus closure, had publicly admitted he was same-sex attracted. He’d dropped the word “unwanted”. “Unwanted same-sex attraction” had become, and still is, the favoured term in conservative religious circles that gay people use to describe themselves. “Homosexual” or “gay” or “lesbian” are terms of identity avoided.

Any time I have to say, “I’m gay,” a smile automatically comes to my face. Not so these young people in conservative churches who are told they must suppress their identity, never fall in love or have a relationship. When they say “I have ‘unwanted same-sex attractions’”, their demeanour changes and their eyes drop to the floor. I’ve seen it so many times. There is no sense of pride, only shame.

Alan Chambers went to great lengths to describe his orientation and relationship with his wife, Leslie, in an interview with the Washington Blade. When I spent the four days with them both at the conference, it wasn’t hard to see the love and respect they had for each other. I saw the teamwork. What went on in their private lives, I do not know. Mixed-orientation marriages (MOMs) rarely last, as at some point the same-sex attracted person falls in love with someone of the same gender; often around midlife. That changes everything. It did for me at forty. When Alan acknowledged his true orientation and closed Exodus, some people were quick to say he and Leslie should split up. That is very easy for someone else to say, but not so easy to do when you have a relationship of many years, love, a history, and family.

Alan Chambers is responsible for his own alleged behaviour. There are still many unanswered questions, some of which may become clearer through the legal process and ongoing investigations. But I cannot help wondering whether, had he felt free to fully accept himself and live openly as a gay man, his life may have taken a very different path. A life where he could have built an authentic life; no secrets, no double life. So many others have.

This situation is also a stark reminder that self-acceptance, authenticity, and honesty are essential foundations for a healthy life. These are the things that create integrity. Shame, secrecy, and suppression can take people to dark places emotionally, psychologically, and behaviourally.

Ultimately, churches and faith communities should be places where people are free to live truthfully and without shame.

This article was first published on The Big Smoke.