The Truth Will Set You Free: Growing Up Gay in Opus Dei

by Tim Pocock

First, a disclosure: I know Tim personally. Over the years, I’ve written reviews of books by people I’ve known and others I haven’t.

I met Tim during our campaign, urging the NSW government to follow other states in banning the damaging practice of so-called “conversion therapy.” In the lead-up to the legislation’s successful passage, Tim and I—alongside others—shared our stories at press conferences and behind closed doors with the Premier and state politicians. These weren’t just conversations. They were raw, vulnerable offerings of lived trauma.

To be honest, at first I wasn’t sure how Tim’s story would resonate. In over two decades, I’ve worked with thousands of survivors—almost all from Evangelical and Pentecostal backgrounds. Catholic survivors were rare. I knew of the Roman Catholic group Courage, which promoted celibacy for Catholics with “same-sex attraction.” Unlike the “change is possible” rhetoric of Pentecostals and Evangelicals, Courage encouraged suppression rather than transformation. Both, however, were founded on the same false belief: that being gay is a disorder, the result of arrested development through upbringing and self-perception.

Another hesitation I had was that Tim’s experience with his catholic therapist involved an outdated technique used to “treat” homosexuals in the 1950s and ‘60s. These methods, long discredited, were largely abandoned after homosexuality was declassified as a mental illness in 1973. His story seemed out of place to the ones I was familiar with. But my doubts quickly dissolved.

I’ve been looking forward to Tim’s memoir for a couple of reasons. First, it is great to have another Australian conversion “therapy” survivor memoir published. Second, it speaks to a different audience—those raised in Catholic homes and schools—who may not see themselves reflected in stories like mine. How many LGBTQ young people are out there in catholic homes and schools who are feeling alone, not sure of God’s love or the families or church’s acceptance? They have either heard negative things about LGBTQ people and the community, as Tim did, or just as bad, utter silence, leaving them with gnawing questions about who they are and who they can tell.

The Truth Shall Set You Free: Growing Up Gay in Opus Dei is a great read. The first thing you’ll notice is the ease you find moving from page to page. Tim has a conversational style of writing that enables the reader to move effortlessly through the journey. Questions will arise as you read, but you’ll find the answers in the following chapters. I did, and then it all makes sense.

Another thing that keeps you reading are the twists and turns and the surprises that pop up unexpectedly. There are lots of those.

Tim has lived an extraordinary life: a child opera singer with over 100 performances at the Sydney Opera House, the heartthrob Ethan in Dance Academy, a major role in X-Men Origins: Wolverine—And that is only the tip of the iceberg. It’s a stark reminder that someone can appear to be “living the dream”, but behind the scenes is chaos, drama and self-loathing.. I lost count of how many times he flew back and forth from Australia to Hollywood, chasing romance and career, but never really finding what he longed for or lasting happiness.

The Truth Shall Set You Free: Growing Up Gay in Opus Dei is more than a story. It’s a warning. Well-meaning religious parents and teachers will learn that from an early age, even as a toddler, you can shape your child for future destruction by imposing outdated beliefs about sexuality and gender identity. And it isn’t always what you say either. It’s your body language, avoidance, and silence. Children need unconditional love and acceptance for who we are. His parents, classmates and school dismissed Tim’s greatest gifts, as “unmasculine”. It’s amazing he survived the constant opposition. Speaking of classmates, Tim appeared in the ABC Four Corners expose, Purity: An Education in Opus Dei, in 2023, which presented Redfield, the school he attended, pretty much as a Catholic cult. Tim’s memoir contains extensive details of those years. The damage it inflicted was profound.

What struck me most was something I’ve seen time and again: that being labelled “evil,” “disordered,” “abnormal” or “unnatural” leaves deep scars that can take decades to heal.

Readers can tell if the author is holding something back, and then the work lacks authenticity. Not in this work. Tim has taken off the mask, bared his soul. It’s an enormous risk to be so honest. But he’s done it and done it well and produced a memoir that is raw, brave, and deeply authentic.

The Truth Shall Set You Free: Growing Up Gay in Opus Dei is a reminder to us all that before the truth can set you free, you must discover and reject the lie that enslaved you. The lie, that it is not okay to be gay and if you embrace your true self, you risk eternal damnation, is a lie that is toxic and incredibly destructive. It’s not just a lie—it’s a weapon. A weapon of control, shame, and spiritual abuse, as Tim’s journey so clearly demonstrates.

Tim’s final chapters are a fitting conclusion – a celebration of his coming home to himself, finding strength, peace, freedom and purpose. The perfect way to wrap up a cracking good memoir.

⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐

Anthony Vemm-Brown OAM

Author of the bestseller, A Life of Unlearning – a preacher’s struggle with his homosexuality, church and faith