Most Australians will be familiar with the ABC show You Can’t Ask That, and the broad range of topics they have covered in the last five series, including autism, intersex, firefighters, drag queens, nudists, African Australians, former cult members …to name just a few. The show is real, raw, informative, educational, and allows the viewer deep into the lives of others to discover they may not be as we have assumed or prejudged them to be.

I’m facing tomorrow night with a level of trepidation. When the producers originally approached me about going on the show about infidelity (no mention of the word “cheaters” at this stage). I said no. “Sure, I want to go on national TV and talk about my unfaithfulness” I said. I could just imagine the field day some people would have with that. I thought I’d exposed myself enough in A Life of Unlearning. Let’s leave it at that.

They kept coming back, asking if I’d reconsider, as they felt my contribution was important. I kept saying no, but their arguments were becoming more convincing.

I talked it over with my daughters. If I was going to do the show, I would only do it under certain conditions.

  1. My former wife needs to be completely respected. In situations like ours, the straight spouse is the innocent victim. Often the gay or lesbian partner gets accolades for their “honesty” and “courage” to come out. Where does that leave the straight spouse? In the background, dealing with loss, grief, a crushed sense of self along with all the external adjustments and dramas to deal with. I didn’t want appearing on the show to cause any more unnecessary grief.
  2. I’d only do the interview alone in the studio. I wasn’t going to talk about such intimate details sitting next to a stranger.
  3. I also wanted the right to pass on any question if I didn’t want to go there.

They agreed.

We filmed for two hours. I cried for half of it. My daughter Hannah was there to support me.

God only knows what they will use out of those two hours. In totality it will only be a few minutes…..which of course they will weave together with the other 6 “cheaters”.

If you watch the show live tomorrow night or later on iView and think “why didn’t Anthony say ………..……” I probably did, but it ended up on the editor’s cutting room floor.

Here are two articles about tomorrow night’s show.

WATCH TRAILER HERE